Marriage extravaganza
Marriage is a sacred bond between a man and a woman. The relationship of these two human beings is elevated from one form to another, and the metamorphosis is of an immensely important nature. Nowadays we see that this sacred institution is being commercialised due to the changing trends in weddings.
Wedding seasons are in boom during the months of December/January. Everywhere you go, one can witness special wedding tents all over the city. Wedding halls are booked several months before the actual wedding takes place. The price of flowers (which are used for decorations and garlands etc), chicken and other assortment of food that is used for wedding ceremonies, reaches its peak. These business-minded people are exploiting the institution of marriage.
Lavish weddings are the ‘in’ thing these days, spending millions of rupees on wedding functions is not much of an issue anymore. Nonetheless, a wedding these days has become a major hassle for everyone involved. There is a social pressure to outdo each other and to have a more exciting function than the last one in your circle of friends. Families of the bride and groom have to worry about preparations, which have to start months prior to the wedding.
A wedding card has to be unique, artistic and creative. People come up with innovative ideas to send invitations for a wedding. Someone sent wedding cards on a platter, to each guest’s house, covered with a piece of silk, accompanied by an assortment of sweets. The guest list has to be exclusive, and people feel proud if they can get powerful people (like politicians or business tycoons) and celebrities to attend the wedding.
The girl’s side has a lot more on their hands since they have to make the dowry and buy gifts for the groom’s family. The main wedding dress, a lehnga, is of utmost importance. These days designer wear has become a status symbol and that’s why people flock to the designers like moths to a fly, to get the trousseau made. A good designer lehnga starts from Rs.80, 000 and will be as expensive as 1 and a half lakhs rupee. Bridal jewellery has to be made, whereupon the search for new designs starts. The costs are sky-high. Shoes, purses, handbags, cosmetics, accessories and such items have to be bought as well. Preparations are to be made for several functions that will take place before the wedding. Dars-e-Quran and maayon have become additional functions since it is the new rage these days. Apart from that, the bride’s family has to arrange the mehndi function as well as the main ceremony on the wedding day.
On the other hand the groom’s family has to make clothes and jewellery for the bride. They also have to arrange for the mehndi and waleema functions. The menu for these functions is chosen with extra care. Various kinds of chicken, vegetables, and rice are selected as the main course. A variety of salads are included in the menu, and there are several sweet dishes as well.
As these functions are becoming trendier with the passage of time, all sorts of specialised people are hired to arrange each function. DJ’s are fast becoming common in the mehndi functions. Interior decorators are asked to come and set the stage at all these functions. A special police band is booked for the day of the baraat who play maladies while walking in front of the groom’s car. Tons of money is spent on the colourful display of fireworks. Traditions like doodh pilaayi and joota chupaaiyi, at times, become too competitive, which causes disappointment if the groom doesn’t pay up to the bride’s family’s expectations.
The relatives or family friends instead of enjoying the wedding get all tensed up about it. They start worrying about the amount of dresses to be made for all the functions, matching jewellery, shoes etc. There is also a question of how much money to give to the bride or groom, as salaami, or if the gift is not to be made in cash, then what other thing to get for them.
What is the use of such extravagance? Some may say that you only get married once in a lifetime and thus it should be special, but simple weddings can be special too. Why do we have to go to such lengths to make something special? Instead of spending so much money, to show off, the same money can be utilised in helping the couple start a new life. What is the purpose of feeding 80% of the people that we may not even meet more than once a year, when the same money can be spent in a much more constructive manner? Steps should be taken to change these trends and we, the people, have to change because change begins at home.
Wedding seasons are in boom during the months of December/January. Everywhere you go, one can witness special wedding tents all over the city. Wedding halls are booked several months before the actual wedding takes place. The price of flowers (which are used for decorations and garlands etc), chicken and other assortment of food that is used for wedding ceremonies, reaches its peak. These business-minded people are exploiting the institution of marriage.
Lavish weddings are the ‘in’ thing these days, spending millions of rupees on wedding functions is not much of an issue anymore. Nonetheless, a wedding these days has become a major hassle for everyone involved. There is a social pressure to outdo each other and to have a more exciting function than the last one in your circle of friends. Families of the bride and groom have to worry about preparations, which have to start months prior to the wedding.
A wedding card has to be unique, artistic and creative. People come up with innovative ideas to send invitations for a wedding. Someone sent wedding cards on a platter, to each guest’s house, covered with a piece of silk, accompanied by an assortment of sweets. The guest list has to be exclusive, and people feel proud if they can get powerful people (like politicians or business tycoons) and celebrities to attend the wedding.
The girl’s side has a lot more on their hands since they have to make the dowry and buy gifts for the groom’s family. The main wedding dress, a lehnga, is of utmost importance. These days designer wear has become a status symbol and that’s why people flock to the designers like moths to a fly, to get the trousseau made. A good designer lehnga starts from Rs.80, 000 and will be as expensive as 1 and a half lakhs rupee. Bridal jewellery has to be made, whereupon the search for new designs starts. The costs are sky-high. Shoes, purses, handbags, cosmetics, accessories and such items have to be bought as well. Preparations are to be made for several functions that will take place before the wedding. Dars-e-Quran and maayon have become additional functions since it is the new rage these days. Apart from that, the bride’s family has to arrange the mehndi function as well as the main ceremony on the wedding day.
On the other hand the groom’s family has to make clothes and jewellery for the bride. They also have to arrange for the mehndi and waleema functions. The menu for these functions is chosen with extra care. Various kinds of chicken, vegetables, and rice are selected as the main course. A variety of salads are included in the menu, and there are several sweet dishes as well.
As these functions are becoming trendier with the passage of time, all sorts of specialised people are hired to arrange each function. DJ’s are fast becoming common in the mehndi functions. Interior decorators are asked to come and set the stage at all these functions. A special police band is booked for the day of the baraat who play maladies while walking in front of the groom’s car. Tons of money is spent on the colourful display of fireworks. Traditions like doodh pilaayi and joota chupaaiyi, at times, become too competitive, which causes disappointment if the groom doesn’t pay up to the bride’s family’s expectations.
The relatives or family friends instead of enjoying the wedding get all tensed up about it. They start worrying about the amount of dresses to be made for all the functions, matching jewellery, shoes etc. There is also a question of how much money to give to the bride or groom, as salaami, or if the gift is not to be made in cash, then what other thing to get for them.
What is the use of such extravagance? Some may say that you only get married once in a lifetime and thus it should be special, but simple weddings can be special too. Why do we have to go to such lengths to make something special? Instead of spending so much money, to show off, the same money can be utilised in helping the couple start a new life. What is the purpose of feeding 80% of the people that we may not even meet more than once a year, when the same money can be spent in a much more constructive manner? Steps should be taken to change these trends and we, the people, have to change because change begins at home.
Comments
I pay my taxes, and that money should be used by government to do whatever welfare schemes it wants to. If it doesn't, its the Government that has to be blamed, not the extravagence in the weddings.
Now this should be enough honestly, but then its the societal obligations of the parents that often creeps in along with the fun that goes into planning a fun wedding.
So now we are having the ceremony( we are hindus) at a friend's resort with close friends and family (both are parents wanted us to have the religious ceremony)even though we were happy flying to a beautiful location with just our immediate family.And following this we have 2 receptions....its a bit extravagant, but each set of parents in 2 different cities cant pare down their guest list any further....For our part, both of us would have been just as happy with this or without...at the end of the day, we would like to see loved ones happy too:)
In terms of costs, as a designer, I have designed my own ensembles and jewelry; as you are right that it costs a bomb otherwise, and was able to get a fantastic wardrobe without paying unrequired markups and overheads. Its been a tremendous task, doing it ourselves and working within a budget, but honestly its been fun too...more personalized. My friends and family pitched in their help and services to make it an easier task, feeling more involved than detached, and it certainly made it incredibly special- some pitching in for things like travel arrangements, photography, accommodation,sourcing and locating vendors. We don't have a dowry system in my family, which I consider an utterly outdated tradition; but those who believe and follow these things, power to them.
I do agree with Natalia..you Pakistanis do have a similar wedding tradition :) but you know what..as a bride to be.I can say for all the craziness, its also a whole lot of fun. The costs at times are overboard, and as long as people are conscientious about that, there's no problem. The one up-manship, if replaced with a more personalized feeling makes it beautiful and cherishable and a memory which will stay with you forever.